to be beautiful
by controlled climb
Summary: Because she might call herself "pretty", but no one else believes it... so how could she possibly be right?


Credit to M&MWP for the pairing.

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**i. a beautiful face stares back**

She knows that she's pretty. Prehaps not the kind of 'pretty' that one would look for in a girl, but the 'smart' kind of pretty. She's the kind of girl that people overlook because she's a Ravenclaw, of all houses. She's expected to be simplistic _(oh no, no flattering clothes for you, my girl)_ - prude, even. And even though she's one of the oldest in the school, everyone _knows _that she couldn't pull a guy to save herself.

Penelope Clearwater. How would she introduce herself? She wouldn't use the above, that's for sure. Because unless someone else agrees, she's not pretty. And oh, she'd never admit it, but she's such a material girl _(rubies glitter from golden chains)_. The last part. That could be true. She hasn't had a date in ... long enough for rumours of her sexuality to start spinning their way through the grapevine.

**ii. not beautiful enough, it seems**

People wouldn't believe it, but she does like to look her best. Only a little make up is applied. After all, she wouldn't want people knowing she cared; no one with brains is meant to care that much, are they? They're meant to be above the blind art of being _superficial_. Naturally, everybody notices when Penelope _(she isn't meant to care less about such vain matters) _comes out... her once not-so perfect curls now dead straight and hanging in an attempt at - _shock, horror _- a _stylish _do.

They laugh. Quietly, of course, and behind her back. They know that if she catches them they'll be given a detention... or worse. And besides, no one wants to mess with Head Girl, do they? She's smart. She must have some impressive hexes up her sleeve to make up for that _dreadful_ hair.

**iii. hardly beautiful at all, really**

When Lee Jordan, a popular bloke two years younger than her, asks her out, everybody laughs. And why shouldn't they? It's a joke, of course - probably set up by the twins. He can do better than her. He could find someone funnier, nicer, more popular... someone prettier. He grins at her, expecting her to agree immediately. She doesn't, of course, and runs. Streaming through the corridors, she cries. She had wanted to look _beautiful_. Being made fun of wasn't the idea.

Bathrooms, she finds, are brilliant. With locks on each cubicle, no one can get in. And she finds herself being yet another girl that's managed to curl herself up on the toilet seat - her knees tucked into her chest. A few people call for her, muttering curses and damning Lee Jordan to hell. Her dignity has already gone though, so she only sobs harder.

**iv. no one looks beautiful in tears**

While she'd always known that she would have to leave the sanctuary of the bathroom eventually, she hadn't expected her time to come so soon. It's when the prim and proper (not to mention _younger_) Hermione Granger bursts into the bathroom sprouting off about 'women's independence' and whatnot that Penelope lifts her head. The younger girl gives a bright smile upon her appearance and scuttles away quickly with only a quick nod to show her sympathy.

Penelope waits for a few moments before leaving the bathroom too, the door slamming behind her as she holds her head high and marches down the corridor. She may not be beautiful, but she's a Ravenclaw, for Merlin's sake. If anyone can make Lee Jordan pay, it's her - the smartest girl in the school and, as Head Girl, probably the only one that could get away with it _(and right now, she couldn't give a damn about something as stupid as honour)_.

**v. but she is beautiful - everyone is**

He knows that she'll try find him. He's sure that he'll be a few friendly bits short by the end of the day. So when she's making her way towards him, pushing her way through the crowd of first years and twirling her wand dangerously, Lee is hardly surprised. And when she starts shooting quite a few creative hexes in his direction, he's prepared to dodge and jump and _leap_ if it'll keep him safe from her wrath.

She's screaming soon - silently. He watches her mouth open and shut as she leans against the pillar, exhausted. Creeping out from his own pillar, he places a hesitant hand on her shoulder as her body shudders. When she doesn't wrench herself away from him, he places his mouth next to her ear. He whispers silly things, saying that he wasn't joking and that he did want to go out with her. Lee, the popular one, asks Penelope, the stick-in-the-mud, whether she'd like to go to Hogsmeade with him. She laughs weakly, muttering something that sounds like a yes, but no one can really be sure.

When he tells her she's beautiful a dateless month later, she grins _(and she hasn't done that in so long)_ and nods. A small, simplistic nod. The universal sign for "yes".


End file.
